


Humanizator

by airiP4



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Akuma Attack, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Couffaine Siblings, Crack Fic, Endgame Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Endgame Lukanette, F/M, I don't know how to tag this tbh, Luka's guitars turn human, M/M, Non-Consensual Kissing, Objects turn human, lukanette endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:08:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24787477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/airiP4/pseuds/airiP4
Summary: This had to be the weirdest akuma ever- and Luka had already seen and fight lots of akumas.It was Markov, Max robot, AGAIN, but in a completely new form and with new powers -which consisted in turning objects into human beings. Isn't it the weirdest akuma yet?
Relationships: Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 2
Kudos: 46





	Humanizator

**Author's Note:**

> Crack FIC. Rated M just in case.
> 
> Check my Tumblr to see art for this too: https://airi-p4.tumblr.com/post/621258786259222528/humanizator
> 
> Thanks to @MalcomReynolds for beta and letting me use Luka's guitars names!

This had to be the weirdest Akuma ever - and Luka had already seen and fight lots of akumas.

It was Markov, Max robot, AGAIN, but in a completely new form and with new powers -which consisted in turning objects into human beings. Isn't it the weirdest akuma yet?

Marinette was on a date with Luka when the akuma striked. The akuma attacked a streetlight, a bench and a car and they turned into humans beings, apparently inoffensive, who just wanted to have fun. The streetlight became a tall man wearing a top hat and old fashioned formal clothes, just like he belonged to black & white movie from the old days. The bench was a big woman wearing some Marie Antoinette classique antique dress and the car was a young tomboy lady wearing a derby hat with informal clothes. The blue-eyed couple was astonished.

"I have to go. It's still an akuma, after all" said Marinette, giggling a little.

"Will you need my help?" offered Luka

"No, I don't think so. I'll try to purify it fast so we can resume our date" she replied.

"I'll be waiting for you at my boat. Take care, Marinette" 

With a goodbye kiss the young designer transformed into her superhero form and left to the battlefield, as Luka returned back to his home. 

The blue-haired boy didn't expect the fight to take that long. Or even worse - turning his house boat into a human being just in front of him. 'Humanizator' acted without control and completely randomly -the akuma just wanted to turn every single object into a human, no matter what or whose they were. 

"I'm going to turn all objects into human beings so they can tell you their suffering and take revenge on their bad owners. Muhahaha" He said, evilly laughing with his high-pitched robotic voice, while flying around Paris over the Seine. Luka couldn’t take that laugh seriously, even with its strange powers and the mess it was causing around the city.

The Liberty, in human form, was something Luka had never expected to encounter. What was he supposed to do? Say Hello? Ask they if they're happy? Apologize for always stepping on them? Show gratitude for being his and his family (literal) shelter? He had no idea. How was he supposed to know, anyway? 

The boat turned human had the form of a tanned blond child and seemed unexpectedly quiet - contrary to their owner’s personality. They looked strangely happy to experience having their feet on the ground for the first time. They seemed totally harmless (and adorable).

But 'humanizator' attacked again, its transforming beam hitting Luka directly. 

This time his guitar -Claire- was turned into a human, taking the form of a sexy tall woman with pearl white skin and long straight black hair with highlights of silver, red eyes and punk-rock style of clothes- including a black miniskirt and tank top, net stockings, a choker and high-heeled long boots. Some parts of the recently transformed human’s accessories were white and silver, like the belt, the shoe laces, the ribbon headband and the jewelry. 

Luka definitely never imagined he would ever see his guitar turning into a human. Even less he expected it to be… sexy? That thought made Luka feel extremely uncomfortable. But the electric guitar seemed to have set intentions now that it had a human body.

"OMG!! MY precious Luka!!"

Luka cringed at their words, surprised at how pretty the voice sounded - similar of those of a soprano singer and different from the electric sound they would usually make.

"OMG OMG OMG! It’s really you! I'm so happy!! I can finally touch you! I've been wishing for this since forever!!"

The guitar threw themself into Luka's arms, hugging him tightly. Luka blinked, not knowing how to react. The electric instrument then kissed its owner's lips, whispering a soft "I love you" that gave Luka shiverings.

The boy was frozen, Claire still holding onto him. ' _ My guitar just kissed me. What the hell am I supposed to do? _ ' He turned as white as a sheet of paper out of the whole situation and confusion inside his head. 

The scene was shocking and distracting for Ladybug, who couldn't focus on the akuma at the view of her boyfriend cheating on her with his sexy turned human guitar.

But Claire wasn't done yet with Luka. They grabbed his hand and placed it on their hips. "Touch me and make me sing" Claire said. 

Luka was beyond surprised at that point, still frozen and internally panicking ' _ God Marinette, hurry up and save me, please! I need you to say Miraculous Ladybug, and FAST! _ ' he internally begged.

"C'mon... touch me... make love to me like you always do… fill me with your touches of love and make me sing for you..." Claire begged, clinging their body to the astonished boy.

At that moment Juleka returned home. Well, to where the boat was supposed to be, anyway.

"OMG who is she!? How dare you cheat on Marinette?" Juleka angrily asked her brother.

"OMG No! Juleka, it's not what it seems!" He rapidly said. ' _ why is it always this damn sentence when someone is caught out cheating? Now I really sound like a cheater! But I’m not when the other party is a guitar, right? _ ' he thought "This is Claire, my guitar!" he was desperate to clear any slip-up suspicion. 

Juleka's eyebrows frowned in disbelief and anger. "WTH is wrong with you!? If you plan to cheat at least you should think of better excuses. Marinette is not going to believe that shity excuse when I tell her" she said, turning his face from him, typing something on her phone.

"It's an akuma doing, Juleka! Look, that kid over there is the Liberty, our boat! Trust me, please!" But Juleka had already left. 

Luka then somehow asked the little kid - the Liberty- to go after his sister and explain her the situation, adding a final please at the sentence. The kid looking boat ran with little hops towards Luka’s sister, having fun at their inconsistent balance from stepping on the floor. The kid seemed to be having fun and it was very cute to watch- well, it would have been if he wasn't still trapped into his guitar's crushing slim arms.

"Luka, my dear… make me sing like you always make Marinette sing. Love me like a woman, like you love her. Kiss me, touch me, make me yours…" she whispered to Luka's ears. Luka’s whole body turned red as smoke seemed to come out of his ears. 

He wasn’t sure how, but somehow he managed to let his voice out to speak. "Look Claire. You know you are my favorite instrument and that I enjoy playing you a lot…” ‘ _ OK, that sounded bad _ ’ he said to himself “But-"

"Say no more, just take me now" they said as their hand started lifting the musician’s shirt up.

"No!!" 

Ladybug, who couldn’t bear to see more, throw her yo-yo to and separated the guitar and its owner, allowing Luka to breathe again. "Luka is MINE. Don't you dare touch him!" she shouted.

"OMG, thank you! Hurry up and defeat this akuma. Save me from this nightmare and come back to me, please…” Luka begged to the superhero.

But Ladybug only gazed at him.

”‘We’ll talk about this later” she said, leaving to fight the akuma once again.

Luka could see the fire of her anger inside his girlfriend’s beautiful eyes and felt how his body paralysed in fear.

But seeing his girlfriend’s anger, Luka decided to take action. He used his strength to turn Claire’s wrist into their back, making them fall on the floor and immobilizing them- just like he did to Chat Noir as Silencer some years ago. 

But Claire wasn’t willing to cooperate and moaned in pleasure instead. “Ah, yes! DO IT!”

Luka felt like he was about to pass out for the embarrassment. The passerby people staring at them make things even more awkward, making more difficult the boy’s actions. And the fact he didn’t even know if those people were actual people or just objects turned into human beings, made things even stranger. He was very nervous and completely flushed red.

Suddenly, a loud explosion attracted the eyes of all the parisians. A Giant wearing a black beret and a red scarf, appeared in the skyline of Paris. ‘ _ Even the eiffel tower… Why is it ALWAYS the Eiffel Tower? _ ’ Luka thought, taking advantage of the distraction to try to calm Claire down. 

“Look Claire, I need you to stop… I love you as a guitar, for your music, but not as a human being. I really need you to understand this: I can’t ever love you as much as I love Marinette. So let’s just have a sane friendship instead, ok?” He asked them.

But then, a golden long-haired dark-skinned young boy tackled him from the side “Luka!!! My LOVE!!”, freeing Claire and trapping Luka instead. Luka was astonished: ‘ _ Who is this boy? _ ’ he thought.

“HEY! George! It’s my turn now, get in the cue!” Claire said, kicking the newcomer with their high heels.

“You’re… You’re my acoustic guitar!? Wh-” But before he couldn’t finish his acoustic guitar kissed him, their tongue deep inside his mouth. Luka couldn’t react. Out of the shock, his eyes were out of their orbits and he felt utterly defeated, breathless.

“YOU BASTARD!!” said Claire, kicking the wooden music instrument turned human repeatedly, while the purple boy used their arms to cover their head. 

Luka took the chance to get up and escape while both of his guitars were fighting over him. ‘ _ What the hell is going on here!? I can’t take this anymore! Marinette, hurry up, I beg you! _ ’ 

“AH! WAIT!!” shouted Claire, breaking some glass windows in the process.

“We have to get him!! We should go for a threesome instead of fighting.” George mentioned.

“George, I like how you think. Let’s catch him!”

After forming an alliance by sharing looks, nodding to each other and a bump-first, the guitars started running after Luka. The musician didn’t expect them to be that fast, and they finally caught over him after a couple of minutes, stamping the exhausted boy’s back on the floor and immobilizing him. ‘ _ Oh, no _ ’. 

George was over his hips unfastening his belt, while Claire was removing his jacket and pulling up his shirt while licking their lips in hunger. 

“Let us make you feel good this time, just relax… We just want to touch you like you usually touch us… No need to worry, it’s going to feel good...” The purple object said.

“YESSSS!! LET US TAKE YOU!” the electric guitar shouted, throwing his jacket somewhere nearby. 

But just when George finished unzipping Luka’s pants, Ladybug’s Magical words were pronounced, sounding like music in his ears: “Miraculous Ladybug!”. And a few seconds later, the magical ladybugs turned everything back to their original form.

“No!!! I don’t wanna leave, please...! I want to be always with you...! I love you!” Claire shouted in a devastated cry.

“Luka… Please, always continue touching us gently… forever…It’s a promise, ok...? I love you… ” said George in a shy sob.

Those were the only words Luka’s guitars managed to say before recovering their original forms, being transported back to the Liberty. Luka was relieved it was over. Both seemed terrified and were crying hard before disappearing. Luka sighed and got dressed again, rushing to the Liberty, still confused at this whole new experience. 

When he arrived where the Liberty was parked, Juleka was crying in front of the ship, touching it softly with one hand. Luka got close to her and placed one hand on her shoulder.

“What’s wrong, Jules?” he asked, still panting from the run.

“The Liberty is back to its original form… It was so cute as a human… We had just become friends and now… It’s gone… I wish I was akumatized to get it back...”

“NO! Don’t you ever say that, you hear me?” he shattered her a bit, eyes locked to hers “Look, the Liberty is here, like always! It’s not gone, it just changed back to its original form. You can still be friends”. To be honest, Luka wasn’t even believing his own words but he really wanted his sister to stop crying. 

“You’re right! I’ll make sure Liberty is always happy by taking good care of it! Thank you, Luka” she happily said. 

Luka rushed to his room to check on his guitars. They were there, at their usual spot, and Luka sighed, relieved their human forms were no longer present. Ladybug then entered through Luka’s room window, calling out her transformation and throwing herself to Luka’s bed. 

“Well done, Marinette. Thank you for saving me and Paris once more” he said to his girlfriend.

But she didn’t look content. She seemed exhausted and… ‘ _ Is she still mad at me? _ ’ Luka thought. 

Her spoken words confirmed his fears. “You better never cheat on me again, are we clear?”

“Yes ma’am!” Luka answered in fear. “Let me play you something so you can rela-” he gazed at his guitars while speaking, and he felt like they were looking through his heart, with the same begging eyes he had seen a few minutes earlier. He couldn’t find the courage to touch them after knowing how they felt at his touch -’NO- No, no, no- Not touching them for a while.’ he internally decided. 

Meanwhile, Marinette was giving him a deathly stare.

“You know, no guitars for a while, let me hum a song for you instead. Or maybe I can make YOU sing my name…” he smirked.

“Just sing, you cheater. I’m not letting you touch me for a while”.

Luka could tell for her voice her anger would still last for a few days, but, as long as he was forgiven, it was ok with Luka. ‘ _ I just want to be with Marinette forever… is this the same my guitars are feeling for me? _ ’ he wondered, as he started singing Marinette’s favourite ballad. No matter what, Luka’s and Marinette’s impression of Claire, George and Liberty changed forever after ‘humanizator’.

THE END


End file.
